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Changing Light Bulbs

January 27th, 2007
Marketing Advertising Blog — VuManhThang.Com

How many Christians does it take to change a light  bulb?

[No, Mormons are not Christians, ok? It's a joke people. For those who don't get that point, please...read no further, run, don't walk, to get a life. Thanks!]

Charismatic: Only 1
Hands are already in the  air.   

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and  nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians:  None
Lights will go on and off at predestined  times.


Roman Catholic: None
Candles  only.   
Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the  light bulb, and three committees to approve the
change and decide who  brings the potato salad and fried chicken .   
Episcopalians:  3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons:  5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do  it.

We choose not to make a statement  either in favour of or against
the need for a light bulb. However, if in  your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, you are  invited to write a poem
or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for  the next Sunday
service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb  traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and  tinted, all
of which are equally valid paths to  luminescence.   

Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your  light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are
loved.You can be a light  bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a
bulb of your choice to the Sunday  lighting service and a covered dish
to pass.   
Nazarene! :  6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.   
Lutherans: None
Lutherans don’t believe in  change.

Missouri Synod Lutherans: 11
One to change it, and ten consultants to tell us how

ELCA Lutherans: 101
Ten ten-member task forces to meet and issue reports and studies on the subject of changing light bulbs until everyone agrees its ok, one person to change it.

Amish: What’s a light  bulb?
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Categories: Humor
  1. monte meyer
    January 27th, 2007 at 17:22 | #1

    I always heard that the LCMS response to this question was:

  2. Matt
    January 27th, 2007 at 23:36 | #2

    The lightbulb for Lutherans:
    Long life – up to 10 years (means less change)
    Low power consumption (about 1/30th of a standard bulb) (means less cost)

  3. Chad Thompson
    January 29th, 2007 at 09:19 | #3

    I’ve also heard the answer for Lutherans as “4. One to change the light bulb, three to sit around and talk about how good the old one was.”

  4. Joel
    February 1st, 2007 at 11:35 | #4

    Orthodox: none
    Change? What is this “change”?
    I think the Orthodox have a better claim to the one-liner than LCMS. LCMS modernizes its music and liturgy every 20 years or so, while the Orthodox are (literally) stuck in the dark ages. (And proud of it!)

  5. Matthew Surburg
    February 1st, 2007 at 16:35 | #5

    Light bulbs? That’s the past! This isn’t the 16th century any more! Butt Bumper Baptist down the street got a neon sign and people are going there in DROVES. We gotta get one of those!

Comments are closed.