Changing Light Bulbs
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
[No, Mormons are not Christians, ok? It's a joke people. For those who don't get that point, please...read no further, run, don't walk, to get a life. Thanks!]
Charismatic: Only 1
Hands are already in the air.
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Candles only.
change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken .
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against
the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem
or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday
service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all
of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are
loved.You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a
bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish
to pass.
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Missouri Synod Lutherans: 11
One to change it, and ten consultants to tell us how
ELCA Lutherans: 101
Ten ten-member task forces to meet and issue reports and studies on the subject of changing light bulbs until everyone agrees its ok, one person to change it.
Nice.
I always heard that the LCMS response to this question was:
CHANGE?
The lightbulb for Lutherans:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/clearance/7aa8/
Long life – up to 10 years (means less change)
Low power consumption (about 1/30th of a standard bulb) (means less cost)
I’ve also heard the answer for Lutherans as “4. One to change the light bulb, three to sit around and talk about how good the old one was.”
Orthodox: none
Change? What is this “change”?
I think the Orthodox have a better claim to the one-liner than LCMS. LCMS modernizes its music and liturgy every 20 years or so, while the Orthodox are (literally) stuck in the dark ages. (And proud of it!)
Light bulbs? That’s the past! This isn’t the 16th century any more! Butt Bumper Baptist down the street got a neon sign and people are going there in DROVES. We gotta get one of those!