Hmm. I’ll play along:
1. The words of institution spoken at a horrendously fast clip.
2. Pastors who cross their legs in the chancel.
3. Wimpy singing.
4. Music that drags when it should dance.
5. Loud noises (gun shots, children’s stereos, slammed doors)
6. Paying over $1 for a cup of coffee.
7. Majoring on the minors at meetings.
8. People who are deluded enough to image a PC is superior to a Mac.
9. Doctors who tell you to exercise.
10. A dinner table where things have been thrown down haphazard instead of being artistically arranged.

1. “Anonymous” complaints that are brought up at meetings
2. People assuming that everything is “The Pastor’s Job”
3. People thinking that the Pastor’s wife has more responsibilities in the congregation than “regular” lay people
4. Calendars that don’t have worship listed first
5. People complaining and not offering viable solutions
6. Waiting for food at a fast food joint
7. Watching people get up from fellowship time and leave when Bible study starts
8. Minnesota Viking fans

1. Parents who do not catechize their kids… and then do not support the church when it has to do their job for them.
2. People of all ages who whisper, text message, or pass notes when they should be listening… in all situations.
3. People who gripe and complain as if things should be perfect.
4. Any sissy who takes the easy way out because he fears conflict or failure.
5. Parents who let their kids braid the LSB hymnal ribbons.
6. Reality television, awards shows, and celeberity “news”.
7. Adults who demonstrate their lack of maturity by throwing irritated glances at parents the moment that their one-year-old child starts to cry in church.

1. Arguments over petty personal grievances that threaten to split churches
2. Parents who refuse to discipline their kids or ensure they keep quiet in church
3. Kids who run rampant all over the church during the service
4. Contemporary worship
5. Parents who use Sunday School as a baby-sitting service
6. Families who attend church until their kids get confirmed…and then never show up again
7. Shine Jesus Shine and Our God is an Awesome God
8. Thumping bass…My wife and I are very sensitive to low tones
9. Gravity
10. Liberalizing tendencies in churches
11. People who are ignorant of Scripture and the Lutheran Confessions
12. People who don’t think doctrine or a common confession matter
13. Rap music
14. Teens who dress like tramps and ‘gangstas’

1. People who are bad with directions. (i.e. don’t know which way is West, etc.)
2. People who don’t answer questions.
3. People who don’t answer email.
4. Non-confessional Lutheran Churches and Pastors.
5. Arguments for the sake of arguing.
6. Trashy commercials on TV, especially during children’s programming.
7. When businesses and people set false expectations and then don’t meet those expectations and then don’t understand why I’m disappointed.
8. Sick children in the church nursery.

1. People who come into my store wearing dirty clothes, wanting to try on our clothing.
2. Parents who don’t tend their children in public.
3. Parents whose children wail as they shop.
4. Parents who don’t make their children leave things alone that aren’t theirs.
5. Parents who are offended when you ask their children to leave things alone that aren’t theirs.
6. People who criticize the organist. Respectfully address your concerns to your organist or do the job yourself.
7. Lutherans who don’t know, don’t care to know, or don’t bother to sing Lutheran hymns.
8. Most brides.
9. Most brides’ mothers.
10.Wedding rehearsals.

8. Oh I forgot one from the Blog of Concord discussion: Pastors who think that I am coordinated enough to be handed the chalice during communion. Do not let go! White-knuckled grip! You hold. I guide.

1. People who boast about being bad at math. (What if people boasted if they were bad at reading and writing?)
2. The use of text-message-ese (“What time R U coming? KTHXBY”) as actual writing.
3. When things that take time (events, proposals, etc.) get thrown together at the last minute rather than given the time they deserve.
4. Al Gore.
5. The fact that I can’t use Safari with Google Calendar or the post editor for WordPress.
6. People who criticize parents when their kids are disruptive. Listen up, prior commenters. This is a “some of the people all the time and all of the people some of the time” situation. There are days when my 4-year old will sit still through an entire service and days when there is not a moment when she’s not getting in trouble. It doesn’t indicate bad parenting and it will happen to you, too, if you have kids. So deal with it.
7. Parents who get all defensive the moment they are criticized about their kids acting up.

I understand the “sometimes” the kid will act up…I’m talking about the “ALL the time” kid.
15. Anti-trinitarian heresies
16. Televangelists
17. People who confess the Lutheran faith and agree to defend it even unto death….and then change faiths.
18. TBN and the Word-Faith Groups
19. The cost of higher education

BWV 1068. Not being able to do what I want to do but always doing what I do not want to do.
29. Trying to not lie at all, It’s surprisingly hard to people happy if you’re always honest with them.
3. Cursing, even “mild” cursing, I’m having a very hard time quitting it.
4. Being considered “heretical” by most Christians when they find out you’re not a Zionist or Pre-Trib Dispensationalist.
5. The “Left Behind” series
6. Lies about global warming AKA AlGore
37. Sean Hannity and republicans who claim to be “Christian Conservatives” when they’re actually nothing more than die-hard republicans.
8. Having Christianity and Christ judged by others based upon Joel Osteen and others. If Joel Osteen represented true Christianity I would convert to Satanism. No real difference between his teachings and those of Anton LaVey except Mr. LaVey was honest about it. I have more respect for Anton LaVey than Joel Osteen in that regard.
12. Being told by people who worship a political party that you are casting a vote for the evil of (D) if you do not vote for the less evil (R) in order to keep the even more hideously sinister, diabolical evil (D) out. These same people will argue to the death over taxes, flag burning and who did what in the oval office with a cigar etc and they will decry the evilness of (D) but when it comes to religion the first thing out of their mouth is “judge not lest ye be judged” as Sean Hannity did when the RC Pastor said he’d deny him the Eucharist for his pro birth-control views.
BWV 113. People wanting prayer and the 10 Commandments in school but not even knowing what the 10 Commandments are and not realizing “Prayer” isn’t purely a Christian thing. Prayer to what? Praying cannot be stopped in school since no one has to know you’re praying! Prayer is a private matter and should not be endorsed in public schools since that will lead to installing prayer rooms with prayer rugs and pictures of mecca on the wall and call to prayer music blasting from the school bell.
14. People who are convinced that Martin Luther was assassinated in 1968.
15. Searching on google or the local library websites for “Martin Luther” only to find ONE item out of 50,792 results to be the right Martin Luther.
16. People thinking all Christians follow the pope(s).
17. Mentioning Luther in a discussion and the first shot fired back has to do with his views on Jews. They feel as if this somehow renders everything else he did as worthless or void.
19. Numbering items incorrectly… (yes it is on purpose)
BWV 80. Listing things.

I love the “other David’s” list, very funny. Also the meetings about meetings, from P.McCain. That’s a very common thing I am seeing now!
What the heck I’ll play.
1. When I wake up in the morning, and know I didn’t get enough rest, but have to get on with my day.
2. That Americans keep getting this ever increasing list of toxic foods and toys and recalls.
3. The political correctness of the Bay Area, and also usually a lack of humor, too.
4. That it appears, many people feel bad about trying to deport Paul Henss, the former Dachau dog trainer, who trained the dogs to rip people apart. Because he’s old now. Oh, too bad. It’s not over-the-top-revenge to have him deported. Really, people.
5. It bothers me that now I’m mad about #4. But wait, it shall pass. Thinking about cabbage…..
6. That life isn’t perfect. Or even close to it. I know, it get’s me closer to God and all that, but sometimes I feel this way.
7. Many things already said by people here.
8. Greed and slavery. OK, that’s more than a “pet peeve”. I’ll reign it in a bit…
9. Pandering to women in my denomination by feminists.
10. False power, and people who bend to it.
11. How insanely expensive health care is now. And the fact that our emergency rooms here are a complete mess.
12. Earthquakes.

Don’t apologize about the “slutty” comment, if that’s what it is, then that’s what it is, believe me, I’m sure most readers are nodding in agreement with that one anyway.

This seems like fun.
1. All of my daily sins; every moment, every day
2. Contemporary worship
3. Baptists
4. “As long your truth works for you, and my truth works for me.”
5. Rude drivers (speeders, changing lanes every second, etc.)
6. People who find liturgical worship boring; especially when
Lutherans make such ridiculous comments.

20. Zwingli
21. Calvin
22. MELANCHTHON

9. Hippies… all hippies.
10. Christian hippies who offer up their subjective, trippy insight during Bible Class. It makes everyone feel uncomfortable.

“Christian hippies who offer up their subjective, trippy insight during Bible Class. It makes everyone feel uncomfortable.”

what a trip, i’m totally hip to your grove and your vibes are righteous.
I have absolutely no idea what I just said.

grove is slang for groove

yes, Yes, YES to “5. Parents who let their kids braid the LSB hymnal ribbons.”
Plus jeans and t-shirts in Sunday morning worship
Plus people who get up and leave the worship service and come back 5 minutes later. There is NO excuse for this, regardless of how old you are (OK, I’ll excuse you if you’re over 80, but then I don’t ever see the elderly do this)

1. People who leave shopping carts in parking spots.
2. Cars not marked for the handicapped taking up handicap parking spaces. Leaving someone inside a running car is not an acceptable exception for breaching this ettiquette/law.
3. Moms who drop their kids off for a half-hour music lesson, then take off for an hour’s shopping/walking/whatever. Consistently.
4. Quibbling over tips to waiters and waitresses.
5. People who don’t identify themselves when they phone me, then start talking as if I know who he or she is. That gets more unsettling, the older I get.
6. People refusing when asked to serve on church council, then griping about actions the council takes or fails to take.
7. Missouri Synod Lutherans who don’t know of any differences between LCMS and ELCA besides the ordination of women. And then presume it’s such a minor difference and not worth continuing our little tiff (which makes it LCMS’s fault, you see.)
8. Flipflops. Everywhere. Year round.
9. Dog-owners who ‘walk’ their dogs through my front yard in the mornings. Without a bag in tow.
10. People who join the choir until they learn it’s also work and we’re serious, and that I don’t take requests from choir members as to what we’ll sing.
11. Families who don’t invite single, non-family members to sit among them at church dinners. It’s kind of sad to see the table-of-the-old-ladies-by-default, or singles at the far ends of long tables joined only by the Pastor or our always-happy Head Elder (generally the last to serve themselves and sit). Sometimes, a church dinner is an unwelcome adventure.
I got a million of ‘em.

1. People who have pet peeves and expect others to be perfect.

“People who have pet peeves and expect others to be perfect”
But isn’t that a pet peeve about expecting others to be perfect and not have any pet peeves? it’s a never ending paradox of peevage!

Using this as my definition: “a “pet peeve” [is] something that irritates the daylights out of you, even though you know the irritation might border on the near irrational.”
1. Medium, large, and family pizza choices. It is just plain wrong.
2. Cell phones at any gathering
3. Evening news people who call police “cops” and use slang.
4. Hip & cool preachers
5. Mothers who do not use the crying room.
6. Giving a baby car keys to play with in church
7. Tailgaiters
8. People who do not understand that sarcasm is a form of humor.
9. People who think Jesus floated around about 12 inches off of the ground while he was here in the flesh.
10. People who don’t control their dog, and think my dog wants to “meet” their dog.
This IS fun…

1. When the church changes the language it uses so as not to offend anyone and/or to be relevant to the community at large.
2. The phrase “Y’all” I’ve lived in the Nashville area for 10 years now, having grown up in Michigan during my most formative years (product of Detroit Lutheran School system), and to this day, when I hear the phrase “How ya’ll doin?” I still look around me to see if someone is talking to me or someone else.
3. Being called a yankee, yankee jokes. It’s no use explaining that yankees are from New England/northeast, not the midwest. Anyone not from the south is a yankee.
4. TV Crime Dramas, Lawyer shows. The lawyer shows are not realistic in the least, not even close.
6. When someone gets angry at you for telling them the truth, rather than saying what they want to hear.
7. The aversion to preaching and teaching sin in many churches. Most LCMS churches do a pretty good job, but law and gospel are missing in so many other churches.
8. Robert Talbot’s Number 6. I have to agree with his comment wholeheartedly. Our congregational president a few years back raised the issue at several council meetings, complained about disruptive children, parents not taking them out of the sanctuary, and parents not cleaning up the crumbs some of the crunchers leave behind. Of course he did not have children at the time, but I can tell you he is a little more understanding these days having two children now.
9. Microsoft Office. Excel is ok, but Word in any form — Mac or PC — I can’t stand it. What happened to the old ClarisWorks for Mac?
10. Windows. I have an iMac at home, and Windows based PC at the office. Never a problem with the iMac OS.
11. Free form worship and the absence of the liturgy in a church service.
12. Cult of Celebrity. I second Mike Baker’s #6, whole heartedly.
13. Myspace and Parents who allow their children unfettered, unsupervised, unrestrained access to Myspace, email, and the internet in general. Very dangerous.
14. Television commercials and advertising aimed at children.
15. When people do not say please and thank you, and fail to teach their children to do so as well.
16. SPAM — both the food and the email. I still have nightmares from when my father used to make us eat that stuff. Now we just have to look at it on a daily basis.
17. The Secret.
18. Forgetting to confess my pet peeves, and seek forgiveness.
Pr. McCain, thanks for letting us all vent here. This is more fun than a potluck dinner before a midweek, evening service.

1. Bad grammar
2. Peepul who cant spel
3. People who take verbs, turn them into nouns, and back into verbs again. E.g., it’s “orient”, not “orientate”. “Interpret”, not “interpretate”.
4. People who use “e.g.” and “i.e.” interchangeably.
5. Disorganized people.
6. The watered-down, cacophonous dreck commonly referred to as “praise music”, “contemporary music”, etc. Content doesn’t matter as long as it’s loud with a snappy beat.
7. Using trendy words to substitute for perfectly good churchly terms. It’s a sanctuary, not a “worship center”. And please don’t call the narthex the “common area”, or (teeth clenching) lobby.
8. “There’s no difference between Lutherans and Roman Catholics”.
9. Anyone who treats the “Left Behind” series as though it was one step removed from Holy Writ.
10. “Doctrine doesn’t matter as long as you have invited Jesus into your heart.”
AIGF.

Andrew,
I grew up in Nebraska (but now live in Texas), and I very much like “ya’ll.” I think it’s much better than the Midwestern “you guys.”
Aside from the implicit gender reference in “you guys,” the “g” sound in “guys” sounds harsh and vulgar next to the lilting “ya’ll.”
I’m not a big fan of southern culture, but I’ll take “ya’ll” over “you guys” on any day, and twice on Sunday.