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Virtual and Automated Prayer

March 23rd, 2009
Marketing Advertising Blog — VuManhThang.Com

Picture 4
HT to Dr. Veith at Cranach for this one. Words fail. Except to say that if it is a Macintosh doing the praying, I can see it as being more helpful since "the prayer of a righteous computer, avails much." The picture here is from the web site. I thought this comment, from the web site in question, was priceless:

About Information Age Prayer

Information Age Prayer is a subscription service utilizing
a computer with text-to-speech capability to incant your prayers each day.
It gives you the satisfaction of knowing that your
prayers will always be said even if you wake up late,
or forget."

Here is Dr. Veith's post:

Thanks to Rich Shipe for alerting us to Information Age Prayer,
a site that will pray your prayers for you–audibly and regularly–for a
subscription fee. For $3.95 a day, your computer can recite the Lord’s
Prayer for you. It can pray for your child for only $1.99. From the
site’s FAQ:

Are the prayers meaningless, will subscribing really make a difference?
As with all prayer, the final results are up to God as everything
follows His will. We make no claims regarding the efficacy of the
service, however it is our opinion that the omniscient God hears the
prayers when they are voiced, as He hears everything on this Earth. The
omniscient God knows exactly who has subscribed and who each prayer is
from when their name is displayed on screen and their prayer voiced. He
is also aware of all donations to charity from each subscriber and we
can surely make a difference in these charities supported.

Are prayers blasphemous when voiced by a computer?
We recommend you contact your local clergy for a personal answer,
however we think that Information Age Prayer is a new and exciting way
to connect with God.

How exactly will my prayer be voiced?
We use state of the art text-to-speech synthesizers to voice each
prayers at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying.
Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber
displayed on screen. If the prayer is for someone else, then that name
is displayed on screen instead. For more information see our terms of
use.

Can I purchase a subscription for a friend or relative?
Yes, simply list their name as the person the prayer will belong to.
Start by choosing their religion from the links on the top left. [The
choices are Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Unaffiliated, and
Other Religions.]

Is it wrong to charge for prayers?
The fees assure our customers that we are the most reliable service
provider for Information Age Prayer. While most companies only donate a
small portion of profits to charity, Information Age Prayer donates a
full 10% of revenue to charity before subtracting  our operating costs.
For more information see our terms of use. If you are a 501(c)(3)
non-profit organization and would like us to donate to you see this
page. . . .

Can I get a direct Peer to Peer connection with God?
God is not your peer, His connection with you is ever-present. What we
offer is a way you can tell God that you think of Him every day with
our Information Age Prayer Services.

This reminds me of the medieval practice of hiring monks and nuns to
pray for you, which Luther was so irked about. Only now you don’t even
need monks and nuns.

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  1. Jen
    March 23rd, 2009 at 07:07 | #1

    No Prayer of Jabez? What a ripoff!
    j/k

  2. Rev. Allen Bergstrazer
    March 23rd, 2009 at 08:28 | #2

    Has April 1st come early this year? Its’ hard to tell with American evangelicalism, which has become a charicature of itself.
    Speaking of Medieval practice, one wonders if this service will be expanded to include worship as well? That way you can praise God and sleep in, go golfing, etc. on Sunday whilst your computer does all due dilligence for you.
    Lord have mercy, tell me this is a joke.

  3. March 23rd, 2009 at 09:12 | #3

    Are you making this up?
    Rev. Lee C. Wenskay

  4. Chuck Foy
    March 23rd, 2009 at 09:22 | #4

    “Subscribe to tell God that you think of him each morning! For a cheaper alternative, you may be interested in the shorter Protestant Morning Prayer.” Gee, God must be stupid and you can pray with cheaper prayers and He’ll never know the difference!
    Wow! Now you can pray “without ceasing”too and use your time to watch more TV! I love God so much, I’m getting two subscriptions!!!

  5. Susan R
    March 23rd, 2009 at 09:22 | #5

    My jewish uncle paid mourners to remember his deceased family members every year.
    It’s a living…
    Not really such a new thing, to foist the duties of faith onto others. Parents have done it for years, dropping their kids off at Sunday School, while they tee off ahead of the crowds, and fathers often stay home to read the papers and catch up on the news and sports shows, while Mom takes the kids to church.
    It’s a different angle, granted; but the same intention afoot: to let someone else get it/do it/see to it.
    We all want substitutes to do the hard work for us.

  6. Mike Baker
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:50 | #6

    Can I buy carbon sin offsets from this site?

  7. EGK
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 | #7

    Steve Wozniak survived the first week of Dancing with the Stars. Do we need a dance-off between Wozniak and Bill Gates to determine the better system?

  8. Rev. James Leistico
    March 23rd, 2009 at 13:09 | #8

    I remember somewhere that the Dalai Lama said that computer hard drives counted as a buddhist prayer wheel.
    reminds me of the old Steak and Shake commercial: “When was the last time you tasted a milkshake and said, ‘Mmmmm, this tastes efficient’?”

  9. March 23rd, 2009 at 22:23 | #9

    This is a great business idea, I am just disappointed I did not think of it first.
    LPC

  10. March 23rd, 2009 at 22:24 | #10

    Oh BTW, I am sure the prayer of a Mac avails much since it was invented by a Lutheran.
    LPC

  11. March 24th, 2009 at 11:39 | #11

    This is just another case of technology putting people out of work! :)

  12. mike woolery
    March 24th, 2009 at 11:54 | #12

    I want to visit the room where all these computer prayers are being “voiced individually”…sounds like fun!

  13. Leif
    March 31st, 2009 at 21:43 | #13

    I want to know if they can guarantee 100% server uptime for prayer. I mean, what if I really needed that prayer right when the server crashed? And if it does, can they be liable for any harm that I suffer from lack of it?

Comments are closed.