Home > Sanctity of Life > Killing Babies is Awesome! (Just Don’t Tell Anyone, Could be An Uncomfortable Conversation)

Killing Babies is Awesome! (Just Don’t Tell Anyone, Could be An Uncomfortable Conversation)

August 17th, 2011
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Read this chilling article in the NYT about a couple who decided they really didn’t want one of the two babies the woman was pregnant with. Chilling stuff. Now, here’s my challenge to all us: Do we hear enough in our congregations warnings from pulpits about using reproduction technologies that result in multiple pregnancies and how often there results the death of children? Not using a “fertilized egg” means a baby dies, you don’t even have to go as far as this couple did.

Here’s the link to the article and here’s a snippet from the article:

Jenny’s decision to reduce twins to a single fetus was never really in doubt. The idea of managing two infants at this point in her life terrified her. She and her husband already had grade-school-age children, and she took pride in being a good mother. She felt that twins would soak up everything she had to give, leaving nothing for her older children. Even the twins would be robbed, because, at best, she could give each one only half of her attention and, she feared, only half of her love. Jenny desperately wanted another child, but not at the risk of becoming a second-rate parent. “This is bad, but it’s not anywhere as bad as neglecting your child or not giving everything you can to the children you have,” she told me, referring to the reduction. She and her husband worked out this moral calculation on their own, and they intend to never tell anyone about it. Jenny is certain that no one, not even her closest friends, would understand, and she doesn’t want to be the object of their curiosity or feel the sting of their judgment. This secrecy is common among women undergoing reduction to a singleton. Doctors who perform the procedure, aware of the stigma, tell patients to be cautious about revealing their decision. (All but one of the patients I spoke with insisted on anonymity.) Some patients are so afraid of being treated with disdain that they withhold this information from the obstetrician who will deliver their child.

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Categories: Sanctity of Life
  1. Marny
    August 17th, 2011 at 07:56 | #1

    This is horrifying. See Albert Mohler’s commentary in response to this story called “This Isn’t Meddling, It’s Murder” at http://www.albertmohler.com/2011/08/17/this-isnt-meddling-its-murder/

  2. Daniel Baker
    August 17th, 2011 at 12:17 | #2

    If it was really about not feeling able to give the best possible love to each child, why not put one up for adoption? In the end, the reality is selfish parents who only want what’s best for numero uno, not parents concerned for their childrens’ welfare.

  3. Joanne
    August 17th, 2011 at 15:50 | #3

    My one experience with a good friend who faced a decision about reduction was a real “Sophie’s choice” compared to this story. She had fallopian tubes scarred up like a blade runner, she’d spent tens of thousands trying to get pregnant and was on her last try. She had borrowed to her limits and the miscarriages just kept happening. It was devastating for her and for all of her friends who knew. Then on this last try, triplets, identical triplets through an odd quirck of the process. She really wanted those babies, all 4.2 ft. of her, but the doctors were adamant, “you try for all three and we can almost guarantee you miscarriage of all three. I could barely stand the angst and she began the rationalizations that you see in the above situation. “Well, I couldn’t really be such a good mother to three babies.” I worked in the same small room with her everyday, so it was a daily thing for me too. I wanted to counsel faith in God, trust in Jesus to bring all three through and to give her the strength to parent them. Though I made several weak attempts, I’d been through several of her miscarriages too and I could feel the eggshells under foot, I could hear the last dime hitting the doctor’s tin cup. I knew she was getting the doctors to cut fees and not to charge whenever they could. My friend didn’t/doesn’t have faith, I could use old counseling skills but whenever I’d get close to trust in God she’d fidget.
    Still, long story short, she went to N.C., reduced to two (identical twins) now four years old and adorable. God did come through for her and that I could say afterwards, and yes while she was pregnant she really was as wide as she was tall. I look at pictures of the two precious angels and I let a very brief second of grief flash trough my mind for the missing angel, then I give that little angel back to God with a quick “and forgive us our trespasses.” This is a sharp and bittersweet memory that goes to the heart of multiple implanted pregancy reductions. The medical profession, especially that clinic in N.C. that actually did the reduction, killed the third angel as if it were nothing but tissue, a bit of troublsome adnoid. However, they guarded the two angels who were determined to live as worthy of their finest efforts and skills. Still, the animus of this article against the death of babies must be accepted and a way out of this sin must be found. How many people have blood on their hands from my friend’s reduction? I am still asking for forgiveness everytime I think of it. My witness was way too weak, but then Satan will whisper into my willing ears that we would have been fools to trust God who could just as well have left my friend with, not three, but no babies and then how would I be feeling now and what sins could I not get off my conscience?? Oh, I hate Satan.

  4. Rev. Allen Bergstrazer
    August 17th, 2011 at 16:00 | #4

    I wonder what the “singleton” would think, should he or she ever find out that they had a twin brother or sister? Would they consider their parent’s decision “not as bad?” The worries of twins soaking up all her time and attention overrode the sanctity of life. And the idea that the twins might get half of their mother’s love and attentions treats both as if they were a commodity that are in limited supply is selfish and absurd. And by the way, what ever happened to the concept of the older children helping take care of the younger ones?

  5. Karen Keil
    August 17th, 2011 at 16:31 | #5

    World Magazine on its website has a blog post about this article, entitled “Ethics lesson: ‘Reducing’ twins.” The 25 comments (so far) that followed reflect the horror at this idea. Slipperly slope? It’s happening despite what the experts, doctors and leaders all say!

    There was a newspaper article a few years ago about a NY woman who had a deaf son who somehow slipped by undetected despite the pre-natal medical tests to test for abnormalities, including a history of deafness. She kept the son and in the picture looks like a loving mother, but I wonder truly what she feels. Deafness is today accepted as a valid reason for abortion. Why do I mention deafness? This is written by a person born with deafness. Sometimes I feel like I have a target posted on my back as far as being desired in today’s society for work and social interactions.

    Tomorrow, you may be targeted!

  6. August 17th, 2011 at 19:03 | #6

    I think most people don’t realize that these procedures almost always require “reductions” to bring the remaining ones to term. The guilt that the parents and remaining siblings have must be incredible.

    @Karen, You brought back memories of kids from the state school for the deaf when kids would go home for the weekend and find no family there, they had moved away leaving the child because it was too hard with a deaf kid. I worked with them as a volunteer while the state found placement for them. I thought this must be an isolated experience.

    I had a great friend who was a dairy farmer’s wife. She had 3 kids, all deaf. Her 4th was on the way and she *hoped* he was deaf, and he was. They learned to sign, not just pidgeon or get by signing. They learned ASL. She ended up renting a house in a larger city to get good schooling for her kids. This family was on the other end of the spectrum. They cherished those kids and joined in to their world.

    A deaf child “slipped by”? No, I believe both you and I would love and cherish that child beyond measure.

  7. Ian Adnams
    August 17th, 2011 at 20:46 | #7

    Here’s a commentary from one of Canada’s national newspapers.

  8. Nathan Woolery
    August 17th, 2011 at 21:39 | #8

    Of course there’s a stigma! It’s wrong! Nothing like a little natural law written on the heart to ruin a good time.

  9. Jami
    August 18th, 2011 at 15:42 | #9

    “almost as if having half an abortion.”

    That phrase made a shiver go down my spine. Is it any more possible to have half an abortion, than it is to be half pregnant?

  10. Corey
    August 23rd, 2011 at 13:38 | #10

    The title of this post, “Killing Babies is Awesome…” is appalling to me. I read the article and I don’t see that sentiment coming from the families interviewed, or from the doctors. I see grief, regret, and much stress from a difficult decision made in fear of the unknown. This discussion of pro-life vs. pro-choice goes beyond who is right and who is wrong. It seems to me to be an issue of who is scared and who can help? Who feels hopeless, and who can bring hope? Who feels that ending a life is the best option, and who can point someone to Jesus whether a life is ended or saved? Killing babies is not awesome, and I can’t see anyone connected to this article who thought otherwise.

    • August 23rd, 2011 at 13:43 | #11

      They chose to have one of their children killed for the sake of convenience, not any sort of legitimate medical concern.

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