“I feel hollow and empty, do I have to begin all over again?” A Letter of Spiritual Consolation
The other day a friend sent me a brief note and I responded. The friend gave me permission to share the note and my response, in case others might find it useful.
There is a huge amount of stress and emotional upset in my life currently and I feel like I have fallen down in my faith. Other than my daily devotions and prayer, where do I begin to find my faith? I know that God cannot answer a prayer if we do not let Him have it-but I feel like I am hallow inside.
My response:
I’ve been thinking a lot about your question, and I considered the best approach to take. Do I offer a rather lengthy response filled with Bible verses? I could. Perhaps you would find that helpful, but on the other hand, I’m thinking that you are at a point now where what you need to hear are some simple, short, plain and to-the-point comments.
First, your feelings are entirely natural, and quite human. Consider that we humans, of course, are fallen creatures from birth. Christians will go through the “valleys” of life and it is a lie to suggest otherwise. The Joel Osteen type preachers are lying to you and deceiving you, so are many voices that tell you a Christian is always happy, light-hearted, care-free, always a positive, and optimistic person. That’s not true. It is a lie.
Second, you say that you feel like you have to “begin all over again.” I’m thinking that perhaps you don’t realize just how true that statement is, because I suspect you are using it in way that is completely wrong. Let me explain. A lot of people think that the Christian life is kind of an ever-improving, ever-growing, ever “getting better and better” from day to day. The old silly saying, “In every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better” is how, I think, way too many Christians view their calling as a disciple of Jesus.
Such an attitude leads to two major problems: 1. Christians may actually believe this lie and become self-righteous hypocrites who have fooled themselves into thinking that they actually are “getting better” in the sense of some kind of moral perfectionism. 2. Christians who try, so very hard, to get “better and better” only find that they get worse and worse. I’m reminded of Martin Luther’s great hymn, “Dear Christians One and All Rejoice” which is purely autobiographical. I’m going to append the words to the end of this note. Luther in the hymn describes the utter torment he felt, night and day, as he tried to get past his faults, his failings, his own sin, he tried so hard and felt that he was only falling deeper and deeper. Why? Because Luther was not yet able to comprehend that the Christian life is not characterized by self-achievement, “getting always better” but instead it is characterized by a constant “starting over.” The Christian life is all about being rooted and anchored in Christ: regardless of how we feel or the emotions we are experiencing.
“Starting over” — yes, you start over. “Begin all over again?” Yes, absolutely.
You actually *get* to start over. But starting over is a daily thing. Recall the words of the Catechism, that daily we see that old Adam, who is quite the swimmer, wanting to resurface and as we recall the gift of God to us in Baptism, that old Adam in us has to be drowned and die. Daily. Constantly. “Starting over”? Yes, absolutely, that is happening all the time.
Third, you say you feel “hollow” and “empty.” You are experiencing the feeling so many Christians have experienced. The greatest of saints all know this to be the “dark night of the soul” when God seems particularly far off and distant. Why are you feeling this way? I can’t say for sure. You would know. Perhaps it is a long-held grief, or perhaps a guilty feeling that Satan is throwing back into your face, bringing it back before your eyes.
Perhaps, as you say in your note, the stresses and pressures in life are so overwhelming you right now it is very hard to see how you will ever again “feel normal” again. Those are very real feelings. I would recommend to you that you not try to simply “get over it.” I strongly suggest you seek a faithful pastor who can lead you through private confession and absolution and give you the very personal assurance of Christ’s love for you through personal absolution. Be faithful at the Lord’s table, as often as you can. And immerse yourself in the Psalms. The Psalms will be come your deepest friends and companions for your prayer.
I bet you are feeling like your prayers are empty and hollow. You may not even know what to say, and you find that you are not even praying much anymore. Know that the Holy Spirit knows our weakness at theses points and he prays for us with groaning too deep for words, as Paul tells us in Romans. Be diligent and faithful in praying the Psalms.
Your head is probably telling you all that you need to know: the love of Christ, etc. but your heart is having a hard time receiving it, believing it and trusting in it. This period of doubt, anxiety and uncertainty will pass. And in the midst of it, it does not change the concrete, objective truth and reality that Christ’s love for you does NOT depend on how you might feel about it, or yourself, from moment to moment. Your sins are forgiven. God loves you. Christ is with you. The Holy Spirit will sustain you!
Finally, I need to also advise you to visit with your medical doctor if you feel that you are simply not getting through these deep feelings of anxiety and hopelessness. You may be suffering from a true physical condition known as depression. We hear that word a lot. Some people don’t believe that “depression” is real. They think, “Oh, I should just snap out of it.” But that is not true. Your doctor can help you with medicines that will help you through a deep trough of emotional depression and help you stabilize the chemicals in your brain which may be going haywire due to the stress you are under. There is no shame in speaking to the doctor about this. Seek this help if you feel you simply can’t move beyond your feelings.
I hope these comments are helpful to you! I will be praying for you.
Here is the hymn I urge you to ponder:
“Dear Christians, One and All, Rejoice”
by Martin Luther, 1483-1546
1. Dear Christians, one and all, rejoice,
With exultation springing,
And, with united heart and voice
And holy rapture singing,
Proclaim the wonders God hath done,
How His right arm the victory won;
Right dearly it hath cost Him.
2. Fast bound in Satan’s chains I lay,
Death brooded darkly o’er me,
Sin was my torment night and day,
In sin my mother bore me;
Yea, deep and deeper still I fell,
Life had become a living hell,
So firmly sin possessed me.
3. My own good works availed me naught,
No merit they attaining;
Free will against God’s judgment fought,
Dead to all good remaining.
My fears increased till sheer despair
Left naught but death to be my share;
The pangs of hell I suffered.
4. But God beheld my wretched state
Before the world’s foundation,
And, mindful of His mercies great,
He planned my soul’s salvation.
A father’s heart He turned to me,
Sought my redemption fervently:
He gave His dearest Treasure.
5. He spoke to His beloved Son:
‘Tis time to have compassion.
Then go, bright Jewel of My crown,
And bring to man salvation;
From sin and sorrow set him free,
Slay bitter death for him that he
May live with Thee forever.
6. This Son obeyed His Father’s will,
Was born of virgin mother,
And God’s good pleasure to fulfill,
He came to be my Brother.
No garb of pomp or power He wore,
A servant’s form, like mine, He bore,
To lead the devil captive.
7.To me He spake: Hold fast to Me,
I am thy Rock and Castle;
Thy Ransom I Myself will be,
For thee I strive and wrestle;
For I am with thee, I am thine,
And evermore thou shalt be Mine;
The Foe shall not divide us.
8. The Foe shall shed My precious blood,
Me of My life bereaving.
All this I suffer for thy good;
Be steadfast and believing.
Life shall from death the victory win,
My innocence shall bear thy sin;
So art thou blest forever.
9. Now to My Father I depart,
The Holy Spirit sending
And, heavenly wisdom to impart,
My help to thee extending.
He shall in trouble comfort thee,
Teach thee to know and follow Me,
And in all truth shall guide thee.
10. What I have done and taught, teach thou,
My ways forsake thou never;
So shall My kingdom flourish now
And God be praised forever.
Take heed lest men with base alloy
The heavenly treasure should destroy;
This counsel I bequeath thee.
Hymn 387
The Lutheran Hymnal
Text: Rom. 3: 28
Author: Martin Luther, 1523
Translated by: Richard Massie, 1854, alt.
Titled: “Nun freut euch, liebe Christen g’mein”
Tune: “Nun freut euch”
1st Published in: Etlich’ christliche Lieder
Town: Wittenberg, 1524










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