Best line….”Eight months to get the little chubby one to yell row. Kind of strange, such a simple word.” I don’t know who the advertising agency is for Geico, but they are brilliant.
I know that a person can go back in time and show me that the most common practice in the Lutheran Church, historically, is to offer people present in Church on Sunday the opportunity to participate in the offering, but I am troubled by the fact that we are offering this opportunity too often. It is obviously no longer something special for people. They are just going through the motions and it won’t mean as much if we keep offering it every Sunday. It is time to stop taking up the offering every Sunday. Once a month, or maybe once a quarter would be best, but surely not more than two times a month. I don’t really care that some people really want to participate in the collection of the offering, every Sunday. They should not impose their personal opinions on others, like me. Too often is a bad thing. It will lead to bad attitudes and a lack of preparation for participating in the offering.
And for that matter, saying the Lord’s Prayer every Sunday is a bit much too. It just doesn’t seem special anymore. And listening to a sermon, we do that way too often. And singing hymns, that’s too much of a good thing too. And, for that matter, when I really think through what I’m suggesting here, I’m also going to have to say that I think reading the Bible too often is bad, and in fact, I really don’t think we should be expected to attend church every Sunday. That’s just making it way too common an experience, and again, it won’t be special and won’t be as meaningful. Besides, the Roman Catholics attend church every Sunday, pray the Lord’s Prayer every Sunday, and they take up an offering every Sunday. The last thing we Lutherans want to be accused of is being like the Roman Catholics. Taking the offering every Sunday is just too Catholic and doesn’t belong in a real Lutheran Church.
Less is more, that’s what I say.
This guy is a natural story teller, he is being interviewed by a local reporter in Arizona after being involved in a vehicle accident, trapped in his car by a downed power poll. HT: MZHemingway.
People have suggested that Wilken and McCain have a dance off. I’m game.
Here’s a preview of the routine I’m going to be doing. Yes, this will happen.
I really enjoy the Bad Vestments blog and it is always humorous, in a “if I do not laugh, I can only but cry” sort of way…they feature the world’s worst vestments. They devote their site, in their words, to “to subjecting particularly awful Christian liturgical vestments or church decorations to the ridicule they so richly deserve.”
Sometimes one rises above (below?) the rest. I present: the parrot chausuable. No, I’m not making this up. Here you go, and no, I have no idea what it means.
This is funny on so many levels, but also quite profound.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
10.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
13.I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14.A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
15.The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
16.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.
17.A backward poet writes inverse.
18.In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your
count that votes.
19.When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20.If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
21.A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.’
22.Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
says ‘Dam!’
23.Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your
kayak and heat it too.
24.Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The
other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
25.Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication
The secret to a good marriage is cooperation. Here I am helping Lynn shovel snow.
And people say there is nothing good on the Webbernet.
Thanks to MCH for finding this.
Younger fathers are raising children who have no first-hand experience with Star Wars as men of my generation, and our children, did. Here is a helpful video for guiding you through the important “talk” about Star Wars. [NOTE: This is humor!].
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